The Most Popular Question of Them All: What Turns Winter On?

Introduction 

I hope it’s not a dealbreaker for my dearest suitors if I say the specific question, “What turns you on?” turns me off a bit because I’ve heard it so many times at work. However, my preferred clientele are generous gentlemen who enjoy spoiling me, so I will always endure it bittersweetly because I know it comes from a good place, and as I always say, I would rather enjoy our time together than not.

Basic Kinks

You would think that by now I would have a well-crafted go-to answer. As a submissive-leaning switch and an experimentalist with a free-use and dollification kink, so many of my biggest turn-ons revolve around being able to turn my brain off completely. As a chronic overthinker, it's so cathartic to become a set of holes and not have to think at all. I also have this divine matriarchal energy inside me that thrives on feeling worshipped. I love to get bossy with partners of all genders. Lesbian massage or domination are my favorite porn categories. I prefer giving oral over receiving with men, and I enjoy receiving more with women. Anal with a vibrator at the front gives me the best orgasms of my life. I occasionally engage in foot play, both giving and receiving, as I’ve been the first woman to suck a few men’s toes, something I view with pride. I am fantastic at role-plays; I love a bit of taboo. I am cock worship junkie who loves deep-throating with a dramatic gag reflex. I enjoy light water sports, as in it is nice to get pissed on,  but I don’t enjoy drinking pee. My peers have told me I am incredibly talented at laughing at small penises, and I think it’s fun to put a man in lipstick & lingerie. I’ve also enjoyed kicking men in the balls and calling them worthless. 

So, after so many years of experience, the answer can get a bit long-winded. More simply, I enjoy any experience that requires some form of worship or sacrifice. I believe the best sex feels like a religious experience. I don’t go to church, so I have to somehow work out the hundreds of years of religious brainwashing imposed upon me as a human being somewhere.

I feel like emphasizing the experimentalist title of my BDSM preferences, specifically because it’s been a main driving force behind why I’ve done so many different kinks and fetishes on camera. I am a sensual wanderer, always looking for a new sexual activity in a new, exciting place with many different, wonderful new people. The concept of simply trying something unusual excites me. I am a comfort junkie; I am not a big thrill-seeker in other parts of my life. I can’t watch scary movies alone, I think extreme sports are a little boneheaded, and activities like skydiving or cave diving hold little interest for me... But when I attended my first public BDSM show in Brooklyn and a dear friend whispered in my ear, offering to whip me with chains in front of a crowded room, I said yes. I was riding the high from that experience for weeks, looking to get spanked and brutalized wherever I could in my fun, exciting circle of kinky East Coast friends. I immensely enjoy receiving pain. I am not entirely masochistic, of course, as with most things involved in this world, it’s on a spectrum. My biggest ventures into BDSM have revolved mostly around hypnosis, body worship, and spanking. There’s a beautiful moment in which the pain stops overwhelming me, and I start to feel this rush of pleasure. I love a contrast of pleasure and pain; it’s a delightful feeling to be playfully slapped and spanked while on the verge of orgasm.  

Fan & Client Relations 

Clients often contact us to broaden their horizons. At this point in the game, I can almost always bet I'm the more experienced one. That is another reason working off the client’s turn-ons seems much easier to me. Listing my turn-ons can lead to a long conversation, whereas yours are simple, easy, and to the point. A primary reason I market more as a submissive than a domme is simply because of my history. Being primarily dominant hasn’t made me as happy. If I marketed myself as a domme, I would more than likely be pigeonholed that way.  In my experience, there’s more acceptance around someone primarily submissive occasionally engaging in dominance than the reverse, simply because many male submissives have a fragile view regarding femininity, and they may only want to submit to women who have what they consider to be masculine energy. Some may only want someone who fits their version of dominance and would never publicly put themselves in any submissive position. Once one sucks dick on camera, especially in paid work that they do not own, it is more than likely on the internet forever. There are still plenty of domme-leaning switches in the industry; I've just found the opposite feels more natural to me, and I can only speak from personal experience. There is a version of dominance that feels forced to me; there are other versions that I find highly erotic. Whereas submission almost always feels sexy to me when I am in the mood. This might simply be due to what I have more experience in as a pansexual woman who has had more exposure to heteronormative relationships. 

Before Winter Leigh, I had a few other dominant alter egos online on Tumblr and Kik. I was maliciously kinky about it, but I was never able to push it beyond a few Tumblr pay pigs and online slaves. By the time I became Winter, I had some serious bills piling up. I didn’t want to deal with the drawn-out semantics of training subs. Being a slut, or a “fast girl,” as one may say, was quicker money. It also reflected my day-to-day sexual proclivities more accurately. More fun, more money- why would I resist that? Femdom is incredibly sexy when it feels organic; anything too forced feels silly to me, and sometimes subs have particular standards that I don’t care to fit into. I also feel it’s easier to be dominant with women for me. At 5’10, I fulfill many shorter women’s fantasies of a taller woman; they enjoy that more from me. It’s just been easier for me in my casual sex life to be more in charge within my lesbian relationship dynamics. 

Starting in this industry also made the journey a bit more confusing. My first SW gig was modeling at a cam studio when I turned 21. This studio specifically trained its models in financial domination. At a formative age in this industry, I was taught that being dominant meant “less work for more money.” Now that I’ve experienced many different sides of this industry, I don’t agree. I now believe that whatever you enjoy most is the least work. As they say, if you truly enjoy what you do, then you never work a day in your life. While being more submissive can be a bit naughtier and more exposing, it does feel like less work to me than what it would take to maintain a dominant alter ego. Dominance that feels natural to me falls more under the “Mommy Domme” or “Sensual Domme” categories. My fetish or porn fans know I’m not scared of Taboo, DDLG, or ABDL themes in my work. But even if the context is not fully within those themes, I still call myself a “Mommy Domme” and prefer the term Mommy over Mistress or Goddess, despite our website’s payment processors' opinions on that. I feel most comfortable with that title because I feel like I’m being worshipped for my femininity, not because I am a woman playing a traditionally masculine role within the dynamic. Goddess has a similar energy; however, I have a bit of a 50s housewife kink, so Mommy hits a more personal note for me. As much as I consider myself woke by trying to envision traditional gender roles as mere options, not requirements, one major reality within American SW and the BDSM communities is that we are still continually dismantling Puritan values that have been imposed upon us for centuries. You may meet many sex workers who grew up in restrictive religious backgrounds; I am one of those. The religion I was a part of in my youth imposed certain ideals upon me that I don’t agree with as an adult. But I am still carrying those traumas with me, and BDSM has given me a place to have fun with that and to transform that into a fun, sensual experience. Isn’t that the point of all this? I’ve always been deeply attracted to concepts introduced by Eastern Philosophy; specifically, I find the concept of Chakras fascinating. I find them comparable to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs for people who want a more modern, mainstream reference for what I am going to say. While the hierarchy of needs puts “Love & Belonging” as a third priority, those are major themes of the sacral chakra, which governs the reproductive system and is only the second of the 7 main chakras. In my opinion, you can’t be a healthy member of a community that brings love and belonging until you master your relationships with yourself and those closest to you. A lot of our sexual needs seem to stem from what we feel we are not getting emotionally. Someone who doesn't feel seen or validated in their daily life may want to be dominant in private to receive that validation. Whereas someone who is always in charge may swing toward being more submissive because they crave someone else being in control. Sex is an amazing emotional tool that can be used to privately process whatever is weighing us down in public. Some people have kinks that may be rooted in childhood trauma, and expressing them brings cathartic release. Sometimes people are just plain kinky for no deep psychological reason. I call those people “natural freaks.” 

Kink Worldview

If you already found me on social media, you know I am not shy about where I lean politically (not right). Does this conflict with my kinks at times, as a woman who has allowed men to rough her up on camera? In the past, I've made some regrettable choices about studios and co-performers. While I have been loud about that regret, I never regretted the sexual aspects. Sadly, in porn, we aren’t given an abundance of quality options in terms of high-quality men in this industry, as capitalism has made it inherently predatory, causing it to be a magnet for many insidious, misogynistic types. I at least respect my choice for wanting to explore those sides of myself as a submissive. I find myself acting out scenarios in my day-to-day sex life that some feminists would find abhorrent - the dirty talk I start spouting off in the moment might be appalling to a Women’s Rights Activist. But that’s usually with my main partner, whom I deeply love and trust. The one qualm I had with delving into the extreme side of porn was the fans it attracted. I see feminine submission as something sacred; maybe that’s a remnant of a voice I heard back in my early church days echoing in my brain. After some hardcore scenes, I didn’t appreciate how male fans started approaching me and speaking to me right off the bat, with a sense of familiarity they had established by watching a scene. It made me realize I was a snob about who I chose to be submissive to. It shouldn’t have been news; I always regarded myself as a brat. It was just that porn had opened a whole new world for me in terms of the levels of depravity a submissive woman could endure. I found it sick yet beautiful when she consented; I've always loved sick, beautiful things. I endured a brutal wake-up call about the type of fans I would attract if I heavily focused on hardcore kinks in my content. I also have no desire to appeal to men who have conservative beliefs whatsoever. Misogyny is a liability in my eyes. If you are loud and proud about being that way, yet still want the attention of beautiful, opinionated leftist women, I encourage you to put some time into some self-reflection. I couldn’t tell how disgusting it was to receive messages from a “fan,” only to look at their page and be disgusted at the bigotry and disrespect towards the exact women they claim to receive so much joy from watching. I have a short fuse for anything like that. 

My intended audience is what I call the “Intellectual Gooner”. And maybe it’s another factor of my 50s lifestyle kink, but a gentleman in the streets who is a beast in the sheets is my exact type. You can be as perverted as you like behind closed doors and in consensual situations, but you must be polite in your day-to-day life if you are going to be in my presence. I’ve said plenty of times on social media; not every submissive woman has a misogyny kink. At least not an open one for public consumption. What I allow from trusted partners and professional scene partners is very different from what I allow from random civilians. While some may view cash as the great equalizer in these scenarios, it’s easy to tell who views those exchanges as respectful tributes and who views them as a ticket to act like an asshole. 

I believe kinks adapt over time in response to what people experience systematically. This industry has brought me around a lot of people just like me: women who loudly and proudly express their desire to be dominated. They don't just express that desire; they turn it into a career. I truly believe some women are extremely happy to be put in these scenarios, and they deserve the autonomy to make those choices. If grown adults can consent to be brutalized as professional athletes for entertainment purposes or sign up to die for “their country” overseas, I think grown adults can consent to being beat up on camera in a sexual scenario. For me, submission through free-use was my way of letting myself just be. To just lose control and stop putting up so many boundaries and barriers. As someone who has a toxic tendency to get stuck in my head and lost in anxious thoughts about what is and isn’t socially acceptable, the process of letting all of that go is freeing and cathartic. 

There is an old saying in these spaces: “The best dommes are switches”. While all experiences are individual, I personally feel my deep understanding of my own submissive side does help in my experiences when I am the domme. Any BDSM veteran knows the reality: a switch is simply more of a people-pleaser than a sub. I’ve met some submissive women who find that the idea of ever acting as a domme turns them off completely, and they have no desire to go in that direction. The one scenario where my personal preferences can be a liability in terms of the quality of a domme session is if I find a submissive client attractive. It can be very hard to establish a dynamic in which I am acting completely disgusted with someone when, in reality, I would let them absolutely annihilate me sexually. This is rare, but it happens. And as someone who prides myself on providing authentic experiences, it can be tricky. Luckily, I am a great actress in a pinch. I've also acknowledged that, given the content I’ve been making and how I’ve been marketing over the past few years, my clientele is largely vanilla or dominant men. The majority of my domination experience has been online. I have much more in-person submissive experience, which has given me more confidence in that role. That doesn’t mean I don’t crave different dynamics. I would love more submissive clientele, but I’ve accepted that, with how I’ve presented myself, some submissive men may feel confused about whether or not to approach me in the first place. 

Now, I know some of you may be wondering a few things, which brings me to my second-most popular question: Where do my boundaries lie? I did cover a major one earlier, which was any signs of extremely loud misogynistic worldviews and behaviors outside the bedroom -  I would say there have been a few kinks I would never do again. If you are more vanilla or traditional, most of my boundaries wouldn't apply in those scenarios. For instance, I did a belly button fetish session on cam once that had me saying “Never again” after a man paid for a private where he tipped me as I ferociously fingered my belly button while drooling on myself. It was uncomfortable for a lot of reasons, but it’s not a kink I have to discuss with a majority of my clients! I had a few DDLG sessions that made me feel a bit icky, so I don’t engage much with that outside of scenarios acted out with other fetish models or if it’s with someone I know is looking for adults having playtime, not actual minors. I will say upfront, I do still stand by the more ethical-minded members of that community; it can be a kink that has a short pipeline into actual depravity for the wrong individuals, and I feel the same about pet play and taboo roleplays. However, many of these kinks invite a healthy level of playfulness that can be instrumentally helpful as tools for sexual healing and creativity. 

Be warned: There can be a heavy risk with dark kinks in terms of what types of people you may attract into your personal space. I have labeled myself as a reformed race-player, simply because when I was in poverty and I wasn’t as educated in terms of my worldviews, I accepted certain requests from POC clients in private shows that I no longer accept now. It was good money, but over time the weight on my conscience grew heavier. So, no raceplay. I don’t do scat because I could never get past the smell, and I entered SW to get away from working with shit in Healthcare. I've made it a rule not to do anything for money in this career that I wouldn’t do for fun, because money makes it easy to justify actions in the moment, but the memories don’t pass as quickly.  My open-mindedness and experimentalism had a dark side throughout my 20s. But as always, there is a silver lining: I know most of my absolute boundaries. 

Please remember, boundaries aren't static. They can be fluid and shift in the moment. But people must listen and respect them. A big issue with sex work is that it can cause personality splits over time, so I believe in not doing anything wildly out of character in order to avoid that. Also, a kind reminder: just because a kink is wrong for me does not make it inherently wrong for others. 

Personality Turn-Ons

In terms of personality, I adore high intelligence in my suitors. I can be clumsy and scatter-brained, which draws me to collected, soft-spoken types. Peter Parker has always fit the type of guy I've been attracted to in mainstream media. I love a nerd. I appreciate other types: an athletic man, a finance man, people who aren’t men whatsoever, but if I looked at the history of who I’ve fallen hardest for, there is an obvious front-runner. I'm a bit of a nerd myself, so it’s nice to be attracted to people I have so much in common with. I've always been a bit of a black sheep; an observer. I’m not specific about hobbies and interests; I'm just happy if they exist in someone. As long as one is passionate about something or can engage in things passionately. Speaking of passion, nothing drags down a connection more than a one-sided conversation where only one person wants to talk about themselves - never showing interest in the other party, which brings us to my turn-offs. When I'm attracted to high intelligence, I naturally develop an obvious distaste for low intelligence. Curiosity is naturally attractive to me. When interests start to feel more performative than authentically joyful, or when there is no effort to display any interests at all,  I know I’ll walk away feeling more transactional about the interaction. 

Of course, I encounter it with clients a lot! I am fine with it most of the time; some are looking to get a bit of projection out of the session. In a way, it can be hot. To be a somewhat nameless, sensual girl one never has to contact again. Like a naughty ghost fading into the night. I remember one of my biggest thrills was a random hookup in NYC with someone I knew I would never contact again. There’s something luxurious about that mystery. A fleeting excitement you can only capture by never seeing or speaking to that person again, just a hot, strange moment with a complete stranger. It can also play into my dollification kink and my “FuckDoll” persona. 

Concluding Statement 

So, what turns me on? There are so many different answers. I hope this blog post helps my fans and potential clients better understand what I’m doing here, what I offer, and what I view as my purpose within this space. As much as the frequency of the question may annoy me, it still serves as a wonderful starting point for learning more about each other and achieving the highest bliss we possibly can together.