Etiquette

There are probably thousands of companion blogs on client/companion etiquette, but none with the Winter Leigh flair yet, so let me put my perspective out there for anyone curious enough to endure it. 

Let’s begin with the typical disclaimer: everything I state on this blog aligns with my viewpoints, and my viewpoints alone. I cannot speak for every companion in existence. However, I make a point of sharing with my community and can tell you that many of the other companions I speak to usually agree with my main points. So, keep that in mind as we move forward with this blog. I will be using the abbreviation “SWrs” to address sexworkers.  

I am quicker to cut off those who do not meet my etiquette standards than some people are. It is a privilege I haven’t always been able to enjoy as someone who fits into the definition of a survival sexworker. For legal purposes, I state here that this blog covers both virtual and non-virtual interactions. In this day and age, the one piece of advice that will always ring true and tried, you must put all your eggs in as many baskets as possible. Having multiple forms of income makes it much easier to be selective with all types of clientele. 

Having to put up with an unsavory client for your survival feels like hell on earth. The truth is, we would always rather enjoy our clients than not. So what contributes to an unsavory client experience? What makes a client become a favorite?   

First Impressions

For me, first impressions matter and can make or break your chances of establishing a business relationship. 

Since the first impression in these circumstances is always made virtually and in writing, it brings us back to our English basics: grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Of course, I recognize that English is not everyone’s first language. Anytime I try to give the benefit of the doubt when receiving an email that shows poor language skills, I end up wasting my time and am not proven any different. The effort you put into a well-constructed inquiry is reflective of your ability to read instructions and think through your decisions. I have no desire to be someone’s last-minute impulse. I want anyone who receives any service from me to be completely sure that it is exactly what they want. 

The first step to being a polite client is a proper introduction. This is the part where I may differ from other companions. While some who value high volume with clients might appreciate the discretion that comes from less-detailed inquiries, the more detailed a potential client's introduction, the smoother the booking process tends to go for me personally. If your introduction is only one sentence or one word, you aren’t going to stand out, and some companions, such as myself, will ignore these messages.

Here are important details I expect from an inquiry:

For in-person: 

Your Name

Date

Time

Incall or Outcall 

Location 

Length of session 

For Virtual:

Your name

Date

Time

Length of session or custom 

Kinks expected 

The WORST thing you can text a companion is “Are you available?” or even worse, “Avail?”. Any “Hey, “" Hi”, or “How are you?” messages sent to our booking lines are also included in this category. Approaches like this make little to no impression on us and will immediately put you in the unsavory clientele category, because we must brace ourselves for an intensive Q&A to figure out exactly what you are looking for, which already has us annoyed with you. It also makes you seem as if you are expecting something at the last minute, which comes across as a bit impulsive. While we all give in to our impulses here and there, impulsivity is a big red flag with clients and an indicator that they may not respect boundaries.  I would say more so for in-person than online interactions.

In online interactions, there is much less at stake, and it’s common to keep responses short. Most chatting platforms show when we are online and available to chat. However, if you are expecting anyone to be physically available to you and to make the time and effort to cater to your needs in person, you should be much more considerate in your inquiry and plan. While I do understand some confusion, as many ad sites give an “Available now” option, I have done a poll on Twitter before asking companions what that means for them exactly… are they truly available now, or just available to answer inquiries? The majority voted for the latter.

An exception to this would be for touring companions. When on tour, the majority of companions prioritize volume and are usually sitting in already-booked spaces, waiting for clientele. When booking at the last minute (which I would never recommend in itself, but I can’t stop you), I suggest making an effort to find touring companions rather than local ones. The likelihood that a local companion will leave their cozy apartment at the last minute to cater to your needs is minimal. In contrast, a touring companion might be glad to receive your inquiry and already be ready to go!

Regarding touring companions, please do not forget the location. I travel a lot for my work, and even when I’m working locally, I advertise in several nearby metropolitan areas. I cannot even begin to answer the question of “Are you available?” if I don’t even know where you are. 

Screening 

Now and then, I encounter the miracle of a client who screens within the first email. If you are this client, please know I love you so much. You are the top dog, the crème de la crème of clientele. You make my life way easier, and I will go out of my way to treat you like royalty if this is how you start the exchange.

Not everyone can be a winner in this department. It is perfectly understandable for anyone who would like to confirm my availability before sending over personal information. Online platforms have served as breeding grounds for ruthless scammers. There’s a lot of material for catfishes to use to scam or blackmail potential clientele. 

Always double-check social media. Luckily, sites such as P411 and TER exist where you can read reviews on companions you may be interested in booking. I’m not sure what the process is for clients to join, but as a companion, I needed member approval to even advertise on them. 

A big red flag is online branding that is too perfect. No sign of individual thoughts or opinions. Just perfect pictures with male-centered captions. Most independent companions showcase a bit of personality in their posts to give clients an idea of what to expect. It also helps with engagement to occasionally discuss SFW topics. If you are trying to book with a pornstar or content creator, it might be more difficult to tell these things due to branding that is trying to reach a mass audience. Always do a reverse image search if you are feeling suspicious.  

Screening varies from companion to companion. The most common forms of screening are a photo of your ID, a LinkedIn account, references from companions you’ve seen before, or a phone number. Some companions may just want to see that you are trustworthy and can follow directions; others may use that information to do a complete background check on you. 

I have encountered many paranoid people at this part of the booking process, and all I can say is that I personally don’t have the energy to misuse or abuse anyone’s personal information. I have no reason to share it with anyone, and I have no intention of stalking any clients or showing up at their workplaces or homes. 

I will never try to convince anyone to do anything they are not comfortable with. If sending over screening information leaves you feeling too exposed and vulnerable, I encourage you to find someone else who is willing to overlook your inability to screen. It may be difficult to find someone in this day and age who will book you with absolutely no form of screening whatsoever. 

Payments and Deposits

To confirm an appointment, many modern companions now require a deposit. There are many different methods for this; always double-check that you can use a specific companion's deposit method before you proceed with an inquiry. While some may be satisfied with accepting a gift card or bitcoin as a deposit, others may laugh at you and turn you away instantly. 

This also applies to online interactions. While many adult content creators accept tips and payments through the online platforms we post on, keep in mind that these sites always take a percentage of all our earnings, including tips. Many creators offer content via Dropbox and other apps while accepting payment via a separate app. This ensures more of their money goes into their pockets,  

As baby SWrs, one of the first and most important pieces of advice we hear is not to do anything without payment. Sadly, many, including myself, have found ourselves trying to be flexible on this, only to end up chasing carrots and starving. Because of this, payment discussions can be very triggering for some of us. 

One of the most despicable things you can do to a SWr is attempt to talk them down on their rates. This goes for online and in-person. Unless you are at an auction or bartering at a flea market, it is safe to assume any person in any type of business would find this to be highly despicable. It reeks of sheer entitlement. If you cannot afford a service, you cannot afford it. There should be no ifs, ands, or buts about it!

You should never demand custom content or video chats unless you are willing to pay for them first. No payment, no product. This also goes for general chatting. While I may engage in small talk with fans for no extra tip now and then, I do not put much energy into any interaction unless I am being financially compensated for it. While some creators have a casual approach to online chatting, if one expects to sit on my phone or computer and fully focus on a conversation, I need to plan that due to my focus issues. 

Deposits for in-person services are where many potential clients get scammed, which makes their hesitancy understandable. While I do feel bad for anyone who has experienced this, if you do not do deposits, then we are not moving forward with the booking. For me, a deposit shows you’re trustworthy, and I consider it payment for the time spent confirming the appointment, getting ready, and traveling to and from the appointment. Not every companion requires a deposit! I didn’t back when I was starting; however, after being burned on tour multiple times, they became a necessity. Now, I couldn’t imagine going back to confirming appointments without them. 

Virtual Chatting

Once we are past introductions and a business relationship is established, healthy communication must be in place between us. 

I offer online chat services through platforms such as OnlyFans, Loyalfans, and Sextpanther. Still, my favorite method is to chat directly through Telegram or my business number, since I do not have to log in to any platform. These are prepaid sessions covering a few hours of consistent correspondence. Sometimes it is simply chatting and getting to know each other; other times, it's dirty talk or a fun roleplay. 

Another great way to get to know each other is through a video chat. I offer a simple chatting rate and a naughty rate. Certain kinks require an additional charge.

I do not engage in unpaid chatting, and I refuse to engage in small talk hoping to make a profit. It is appropriate to ask for details about the service you are seeking from me and about my schedule. If a bit of harmless chatting occurs within those interactions, I am not bothered. However, trying to start a casual conversation with me without booking a chat session beforehand will result in being ignored or possibly blocked. I expect clients to know exactly what they are looking for when contacting me and to communicate their needs directly.

In-person Interactions

I make a point of holding all clients to the same standard, while also valuing the unique energy each one brings to the table.

The booking process is sometimes more stressful than the session itself. Once the screening and deposit are confirmed, everything else is straightforward. For an incall, I will usually contact you with the address the day before, and for an outcall, I will ensure I know where to go. 

Many clients offer to bring a drink, and as a white-wine-lover, this will always earn points with me. Sometimes dining is part of the experience, and providing food is strongly recommended for sessions longer than 2 hours. Like many human beings, I do not function at my best when hungry. If dining in public isn't a good option for you, consider ordering in or, as a recent date did, provide a romantic charcuterie board experience at the hotel. I will never turn down the gift of a well-crafted charcuterie board. 

I make sure to bring all the necessary supplies so we can enjoy our time together. Do not worry about the basics, and please let me know beforehand if I need to consider any accommodations for size or latex allergies. 

Hygiene standards are not a game, and I have cut off clients who don't perform well enough in that arena. I may request that you wash up before we initiate any intimacy. I will provide antibacterial soap for certain body regions. I also recommend mouthwash and make sure your hands are clean. Becoming a companion will make one hyper-aware of all the bacterial exchanges that go on when engaging in intimacy, and dealing with infections can put me out of work for an extended period of time. STD testing should already be a regular occurrence in every sexually active adult's life. Be sure to test regularly to stay up to date on your status. 

Concluding statements

I know I typed out a lot, but establishing a healthy business relationship with a SWr both online or in-person can bring many benefits to one’s life, and I believe everything is worth reading through if being an ideal client is your goal. The sad truth is that many inquiries are turned away due to poor etiquette, and many potential clients miss out on these benefits because they don't know any better. The majority of clients are normal, healthy gentlemen who simply want to enjoy time with a beautiful, sensual woman without any strings attached. Do not let any of the stigmas get to your head. Paying for these services is normal and has been for thousands of years. What SWrs desire most is to find generous clients who humanize us all while still having fun. If you have butterflies about approaching a companion, please keep in mind everything in this blog. All you need is a thorough introduction, a willingness to screen and send a deposit, an open mind, good hygiene, and you're golden. As companions and adult content creators, it is our job to provide non-judgmental spaces for clients to express and enjoy themselves. All you need to do is follow directions and be a considerate human being.

XOXO & some more...

Winter Leigh